85 - Funny Salman Khan & Katrina Kaif Marriage Poll

How Much Indians thinks Indian film actor Salmaan Khan wil marry Indian Film actress Katrina Khaif. Ans 10% Because rest of the 90% wants to marry Katrina Kaif themself.

84 - Funny Test

AM I CUTE? TEST Call, if i m cute miss call, if i m Hot Text back if i m lovable Text a joke if i m charming Just ignore if u r jealous.

83 - Insult with Fun

A physiological study has proved that all the fools, donkeys, monkeys used their thumbs to read the messages. Don’t change your finger know its too late.

82 Sweet SMS

1 day God punished me, erased my memory & asked Do u remember Anyone now ? I told ur name and said Dear God dis sweet friend is in my heart Not in Brain.

81 - Family Tradition

Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot !" Johnny: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Johnny: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Johnny: "She's a woman..."

80 - AUR BHI MAJA AATA.

SHERU ARPITA SE BOLA - “BHAI AAJ TO CHAY PINE KA MAJA AA GAYA.” ARPITA NE KAHA- “UNCLE JI, AGAR BILLI NE DUDH ME MUH NA MARA HOTA TO AUR BHI MAJA AATA.”

79 - Banta and Santa

The doctor told Santa singh that if he ran 8 kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Santa singh called the doctor over STD to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?"asked the doctor. 'I'm 2400 kms from home.'

78 - 10 Kg in Week

Santaa: Did u hear a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained 10 Kgs in a week. Banta : That's impossible. Whose baby? Santa: An elephant's.

77 - Past Tense

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it? Student: Obviously it is the past tense!

76 - Sweet SMS

wonderful combinations in dis world.. heart and beats.. night and moon... music and songs... rose and love.... fish and water... my costly sms and ur free smile

75 - Sweet SMS

My mobile fell in love with ur sms, It whistles when ur sms coz, its face bcoms bright, it starts glowing. So dnt ever try 2 seperate those true lovers!

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74 - Sweet SMS

1+1=2 eyes look at u. 12+12=24 hours thinking about u. 3+4=7 days in week missing u. 1+11=12 months I always need A SWEET PERSON like u

73 - Sweet SMS

The opposite of LOVE is not HATE but to AVOID. Shakespeare says If u dont love me then hate me but plz dont avoid me..

72 - Sweet SMS

For all d Love u share, For all d ways u care, For all d times u r there. U r special and beyond compare, I just wanna say TAKE CARE..

71 - Definition of a Successful Date

Definition of a successful date: 17-Burger King 25-Free Meal 35-A Diamond 48-A Bigger Diamond 66-Home Alone

70 - phone numbers

Q. Why is the book 'Women Who Love Too Much' a disappointment for many men? A. No phone numbers

69 - Marriage Truth

Marriage Truth: When a newly married couple smiles, every1 knows why. When a 10 yr married couple smiles, every1 wonders why.

68 - Man"s youth

Q: How does a man keep his youth? A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

67 - very funny

Will the father be present during the birth? asked the obstetrician. Nah, replied the mother-to-be, He and my husband don't get along

66 - Keep Busy

Q:My wife is going thro menopause. Wat can I do? A:Keep busy.If ur handy wit tools,u can finish d basement or shed; wen ur done ul hav a plce 2 live.

65 - Female Viagra

What is Female Viagra? * * * Jewellery.

64 - Why Woman live longer

Q: Why do women live longer than men? . . . A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

63 - Difference b/w Complete & Finish

Whats the difference between Complete & Finished? If u find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.

62 - Boys room b4 marriage

Things in Boys room b4 marriage Perfumes, Love letters, Gifts, F'shp bands, Cards, Snaps After maarrige- Painkillers, Loan papers Unpaid bills. etc

61- Difference B/W Girl friend & Wife

Q. Difference between Girl Friend & Wife ? A. Girl Friend - Beauty, Wife - Duty. Girl Friend - Pension, Wife - Tension, Girl Friend-Yummy, Wife-Dummy, Girl Friend-Cool, Wife - Fool, Girl Friend - Fresh Cake, Wife - Earthquake

60 - Wife as a cook

Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will U pay me ? Husband: I won't have to pay U, you'll get my entire insurance amount....

59 - Ultimate Thought

Ultimate thought If more than one mouse is mice, then more than one spouse is? . . . SPICE !

58 - Found a woman like mother

THE GROOM,UPON HIS ENGAGEMENT, WENT TO HIS FATHER AND SAID, I'VE FOUND A WOMAN JUST LIKE MOTHER HIS FATHER REPLIED,'SO WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, SYMPATHY?'

57 - After few years of marriage

While in bed after few years of marriage, its often noted that husband and wife's HIPS meet each other more often than LIPS.....

56 - Mr. Bean's Mom

Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor called, Mom’s dead. Friend: condolence, my friend. After 2 minutes Mr. Bean cries even louder Friend: what now? Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

55 - Mr. Bean

Friend: how many women do you believe must a man marry? Mr. Bean: 16 Friend: Why? Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.

54 - Mr. Bean

WHILE IN A DRUG STORE Mr. Bean: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson. Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C? Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!!

53 -Mr. Bean

MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL Teacher: What is 5 plus 4? Mr. Bean: 9 Teacher: What is 4 plus 5? Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you’ve just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

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you get paid to click on ads and visit websites. The process is easy! You simply click a link and view a website for 30 seconds to earn money. You can earn even more by referring friends. You'll get paid $0.01 for each website you personally view and $0.01 for each website your referrals view. Earnings Example:- » You click 10 ads per day = $0.10 » 20 referrals click 10 ads per day = $2.00 » Your daily earnings = $2.10 » Your weekly earnings = $14.70 » Your monthly earnings = $63.00 The above example is based only on 20 referrals and 10 daily clicks. Some days you will have more clicks available, some days you will have less. What if you had more referrals? What if there were more ads available? Thousands of satisfied members that have received their payment Join now and receive a $0.05 Sign-up Bonus

52 - Message for Handsome and Beautiful

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience

51 - Sweet SMS

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

50 -Sweet SMS

Few Relations in Earth Never Die.Want 2 know What it is? Read again.. (F)few (R)relations (I)in (E)earth (N)never (D)die

49 - Sweet SMS

Friendship is a silent gift of nature.. More old .. more strong.. More deep.. more clear.. More close.. more warm.. Less words.. more understanding..

48 Sweet SMS

If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in the garden & cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you as a friend 4ever!!

47 - Sweet SMS

We smile at whom we like, we cry for whom we care, we laugh with whom we enjoy & we become angry with whom we feel is our own. That's Friendship, that's Love !

46 - Sweet SMS

We met it was Luck! We talked it was CHANCE! We became friends it was DESTINY! We are still friends it is FAITH! We will always be friends its a PROMISE!

45 - Sweet SMS

F: FIELD of LOVE R: ROOT ofJOy I: ISLAND of GOD E: END of SoRROW N: NAME of HOPE D: DOOR of UNDERSTANDING dats YOU my FRIEND..

44 -Sweet SMS

Good friends care for each other! Close friends understand each other !But ,true friends stay forever beyond . Words... Time & distance! Happy friendship day !!

43 - Sweet SMS

A friend is like a "PILLOW",u can hug it when u r in trouble, u can cry on it when u r in pain, u can embrace it when u r happy...! Always remember I can b your PILLOW.

42 - Sweet SMS

Friendship is a promise made in the heart.... silent... unwritten... unbreakable by distance... unchangeable by time... its lovely to have u as one..!

41 - Sweet SMS

Night is longer than day for those who Dream & Day is longer than night for those Who make their Dreams come true. Wish you Good Night & Sweet Dreams!

40 - Sweet SMS

1 chote bacche ne darwaza khola or apni didi k boyfrend ko dekh k masumiyat se bola . "Aap roz meri didi se milne aate ho, . . . AAPKI APNI didi nai hai?

39 - Sweet sms

Birds love u, Giraffe love u, Goat love u, Elephant love u, Go to zoo, They all miss u.

38 - Robber & Clerk

Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me robbing? Clerk: Yes. Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u? 2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!

37 Difference B/W Kiss, Car & Monkey

What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.

36 - Ha Ha Ha

hahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahihihihihihihihihi hihihihihihihihihihihihihi hohohohohohohohohohohohoh ohohoho nothing special my friend, just your face come in my mind. ha ha ha ha ha ha

35- Teacher & Child

A Child Never Seen His Hips. One Day His Teacher Hit Him Hard On His Hips. He Come To Home & See In The Mirror & Say stupid teacher....made its two parts

34-Love and Kiss

Life is nothing without LOVE, Love is emotion & Kiss is practical, don’t get emotional, dear just be practical So STOP loving and START Kissing.

33-Lost wife

2 men were searching for their lost wife in a festival. Banta: What does your wife look like? Santa: She is 5′7″, 36-24-36 sexy figure, fair, sweet, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair, and yours? Banta: Forget mine, let us look for yours.

32-A sinking ship

A ship was sinking. Captain: Does any one know how to pray? A priest comes forward and says he can pray. Captain: Ok priest, you pray; Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket as we are one jacket short.

31-difference b/w secretary & private secretary

Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary? Ans: Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR

30-woman's pray

A women's prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him and Patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death!

29- man's best friend.

Dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment: Lock your dog and your girlfriend in the boot of the car for an hour. When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?

28-Just do it

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom."

27-owl

Angry father to his son: Have you ever seen an owl? Child: (Luking down) No... Father: Don't look down. Look at me.

26-teacher and child

Teacher ask: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything? Child: U can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.

25-answer of difficult question

Santa found the answer to the most difficult question ever: What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.

24-Banks slogan

Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his bank account. Know why? Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true...

23-santa banta

Santa: Tere result da ki banya? Pappu: Miss kendi aey es class wich ik saal hor laggay ga? Santa: Saal pavain 2,3 lag jawan par fail na hovin mera puttar.

22-The Secret o Longetivity

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. "I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "My wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk. "Gentlemen, I have been walking in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."

21th-teache 7 student

Teacher to Student: Kid, your essay on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy from him? Student: No, teacher, it's about the same dog!

20th-husband & wife

A French husband was returning home after cremating his wife. He sees heavy lightning and thunderstorm in the sky. Husband thinks: She must have reached there.

19th-Breakfail

Sardar Ji: Why have you increased speed of car? Laloo: Break has failed. We should reach home before accident.

18th-Salary Expected

Funny Sharma was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote: YES

17th-yoga sweet sms

My sweet girlfriend had habit of biting her fingernails. She started doing YOGA to treat the problem. Soon her finger-nails started growing normally. Seeing this, I asked if yoga had totally cured her problem. "No," she replied with a funny sweet smile, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."

16th-Effective Yoga

Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit? Woman: Yes, An Amazing Funny Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

15th-faithful dog

Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it. Banta: Is this dog faithful ? Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.

14th-Boyfriend Girlfriend

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It is sufficient for me, but how will you survive?

13th-Just Do It !

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom."

12th-My One and Only Love

Vicky, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a jeweller's shop in Connaught Place, Delhi. The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?' Vicky thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'.' The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.' Vicky retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'

11th-You and Your Boss

Defferences betwee You and your boss When you take a long time, you`re slow. When your boss takes a long time, he`s thorough. When you don`t do it, you`re lazy. When your boss doesn`t do it, he`s too busy. When you make a mistake, you`re an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake, he`s only human. When doing something without being told, you`re overstepping your authority. When your boss does the same thing, that`s initiative. When you take a stand, you`re being pig-headed. When your boss does it, he`s being firm. When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you`re being rude. When your boss skips a few rules, he`s being original. When you please your boss, you`re arse-creeping. When your boss pleases his boss, he`s being co-operative. When you`re out of the office, you`re wandering around. When your boss is out of the office, he`s on business. When you`re on a day off sick, you`re always sick. When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill. When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. When your boss applies for leave, it`s because he`s overworked.

10th-Sexy Secretary

A well-stacked young advertising secretary wore tight knit dresses that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. Her young, aggressive boss motioned her into his office one afternoon and closed the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, "Is that for sale?" "Of course not!" she snapped angrily, blushing furiously. Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest you quit advertising it."

9th-One Kiss Per Yard

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.

8th-Report Card

Eight-year-old Anita brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good... mostly A's and a couple of B's. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Anita is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit." Anita's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Anita because I would like to try it out on her mother."

7th-Late Night Party

The mother and father had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party. The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30 AM the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?" "Not too late, Dad." she replied nervously. Dead-panned, her father said, "Then, my precious one, I'll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."

6th- A student's request for extra money

A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke. His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?" "Uhh, oh yeah, O.K." responded the kid. So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?" "Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000." "That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you going crazy???" "Don't worry hon," Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!"

5

A sardarji went to toilet ten times within half-an-hour. Somebody asked - sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya? sardar - hai to sahi, par khul nahin rahi

4

yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit Woman: Yes, An Amazing Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

3rd

A boy takes his girlfriend on a date. They went to a coffee shop and they ordered coffee. The boy told to his girlfriend, “Drink quickly before it gets cold.” Girlfriend asked with surprise, “Why?” The boy replied, “Don’t u see, Hot cofee is for $ 5 and cold cofee for $10 !”

2nd

Teacher : Santa yeh batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai? Santa : Teen madam Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao. Santa : Madam, Maine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hoon aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.

1st

Once Banta went to Bombay. While passing through a road he saw a very high building. He was amazed to see it, and decided to count its stories. As he was doing so a townsman saw him and tried to befool him. So he approached Banta and asked, “What are you doing?” When he told the answer, the townsman said that one had to pay two rupees for every storey counted. “How many have you counted?” Banta said ten and gave the man twenty rupees. Walking away Banta was very happy to think how he has befooled the other man for he had counted twenty.

Ek gora aadmi tha. Jab uska ladka paida hua toh woh kala tha. Tabhi woh apni patni ke paas jata hai aur poochta hai, “Yaar main bhi gora tha tum bhi gori thi to bachcha kaise kala paida ho gaya” Aur phir uski biwi ne jawab diya, “Darling main bhi hot tum bhi hot sayad bachcha jal gaya hoga.”

Santa: Why didn’t you marry? Banta: I was searching for an ideal match. Santa: So, you didn’t find an ideal girl? Banta: I found one. Santa: Then? Banta: She was also searching for an ideal match.

Chintoo : Aaj maine apni class mein sabse pyaari larki ko phansa liya.. Friend : Woh kaisey? Chintoo : “Class lagi thi.. Maine kaghaz ka jahaz bana ke Phainka. Jahaza teacher ke pass chala gaya. Uss ne ghusey se poocha yeh kiss ne phainka? Maine us larki ka naam le liya aur who phans gaye bichari.”

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. “I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced. “Will the laziest man please put his hand up.” Nine hands went up. “Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the tenth man. “Feeling too much lazy”, came the reply.

A car owner taking interview of a driver and finally he told, “OK. you are selected and you will get $ 2000 as starting salary.” The driver answered, “You are great Sir ! For starting if $2000 then for driving how much sir?

A girl introduces her boy friend to his father, “Dad I told you about him.” Father asked the boy, “So,you wanna become my son-in-law?” The boy replied, “Not really sir, but this is the only way to marry your daughter!”