21th-teache 7 student

Teacher to Student: Kid, your essay on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy from him? Student: No, teacher, it's about the same dog!

20th-husband & wife

A French husband was returning home after cremating his wife. He sees heavy lightning and thunderstorm in the sky. Husband thinks: She must have reached there.

19th-Breakfail

Sardar Ji: Why have you increased speed of car? Laloo: Break has failed. We should reach home before accident.

18th-Salary Expected

Funny Sharma was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote: YES

17th-yoga sweet sms

My sweet girlfriend had habit of biting her fingernails. She started doing YOGA to treat the problem. Soon her finger-nails started growing normally. Seeing this, I asked if yoga had totally cured her problem. "No," she replied with a funny sweet smile, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."

16th-Effective Yoga

Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit? Woman: Yes, An Amazing Funny Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

15th-faithful dog

Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it. Banta: Is this dog faithful ? Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.

14th-Boyfriend Girlfriend

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It is sufficient for me, but how will you survive?

13th-Just Do It !

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom."

12th-My One and Only Love

Vicky, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a jeweller's shop in Connaught Place, Delhi. The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?' Vicky thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'.' The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.' Vicky retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'

11th-You and Your Boss

Defferences betwee You and your boss When you take a long time, you`re slow. When your boss takes a long time, he`s thorough. When you don`t do it, you`re lazy. When your boss doesn`t do it, he`s too busy. When you make a mistake, you`re an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake, he`s only human. When doing something without being told, you`re overstepping your authority. When your boss does the same thing, that`s initiative. When you take a stand, you`re being pig-headed. When your boss does it, he`s being firm. When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you`re being rude. When your boss skips a few rules, he`s being original. When you please your boss, you`re arse-creeping. When your boss pleases his boss, he`s being co-operative. When you`re out of the office, you`re wandering around. When your boss is out of the office, he`s on business. When you`re on a day off sick, you`re always sick. When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill. When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. When your boss applies for leave, it`s because he`s overworked.

10th-Sexy Secretary

A well-stacked young advertising secretary wore tight knit dresses that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. Her young, aggressive boss motioned her into his office one afternoon and closed the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, "Is that for sale?" "Of course not!" she snapped angrily, blushing furiously. Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest you quit advertising it."

9th-One Kiss Per Yard

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.

8th-Report Card

Eight-year-old Anita brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good... mostly A's and a couple of B's. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Anita is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit." Anita's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Anita because I would like to try it out on her mother."

7th-Late Night Party

The mother and father had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party. The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30 AM the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?" "Not too late, Dad." she replied nervously. Dead-panned, her father said, "Then, my precious one, I'll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."

6th- A student's request for extra money

A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke. His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?" "Uhh, oh yeah, O.K." responded the kid. So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?" "Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000." "That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you going crazy???" "Don't worry hon," Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!"